


Sarah Sultan the River Rock

by longhairshortfuse



Series: Ships in the Nightvale [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen, Insults, Making Up, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:45:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2187048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what is the problem between Cecil Palmer, local radio host and Sarah Sultan, college principal?</p><p>For psychosomatic86, hope you enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sarah Sultan the River Rock

**Author's Note:**

  * For [psychosomatic86](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychosomatic86/gifts).



Sarah Sultan was not, despite malicious radio reports to the contrary, a smooth, fist-sized river rock. The first time that irritating buffoon had referred to her as a river rock on-air she had called him after his stupid show.  
"Palmer, you're a dick."  
"At least I'm a clever dick. You have the IQ of a chunk of limestone and the guts to match."  
"Asshole. You have no idea..."  
"Oh how original. Got any insults that are not anatomical?"  
Sarah was furious. She hung up. To think it had all started over some stupid disagreement about evolution. It's not like she _wanted_ to threaten to fire that loudmouthed professor to shut him up, the pressure came from the city council's education department. Her employer. 

The second time was too much. Sarah was proud of her role in the revolution, dammit, she had knocked out several members of the Strex office temp corps with just her fists and a sharp-edged handbag weighted with out of date college prospectuses. She deserved _recognition_ not ridicule. She called him again but was directed straight to voicemail.  
 _Palmer you pathetic ballsack, you shit-breathing mutant... Fuck you._  
She hung up, unsatisfied. 

The third time it was personal. As in, _in person._  
There. He. Was.  
Standing in line at the Ralph's, or what was left of the Ralph's, with a basket.  
He hadn't seen her.  
She snuck up and stood in line behind him, surveying the content of his shopping basket.  
Oh yes. Revenge was hers now.  
"Hey Palmer, you sad fuck, what's with the basket full of ready meals for one? Your lovely scientist seen the light and fucked off with someone better?" 

The basket hit the floor.

  
Cecil turned around slowly.  
 _"What. Did. You. Just. Say."_  
"You heard me first time. Humiliation feel as good to you as it does to me? Uh?"  
Sarah stared. What should happen now? Shouting? probably. Insults? definitely. Ducking a punch? Maybe.  
But _Palmer dropping to the floor and sobbing?_ No. Not that.

Sarah stood next to the man sitting on the floor, looking around in embarrassment as if it was possible to pretend that nothing was happening. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of her nose. _Godsdamnit!_  
She squatted down beside Cecil and reached out a hand. "Come on, Palmer, get up."  
He didn't move.  
Sarah put her hand on Cecil's elbow. "Come on, you can't sit there, we're in the way." She pulled his arm slightly. "Get up and we can go sit in the cafe across the street. Come on, Cecil."  
They got up, abandoned their shopping and left. 

This was not how Sarah imagined ever spending her time. Cecil offloaded. She didn't exactly listen but she seemed to be nodding and _hmm_ -ing in the right places and signalled to the barista for more coffee at the right time. Eventually Cecil was quiet. He looked at Sarah for the first time since that stupid argument over the professor who almost got fired for talking too much science.  
"Are you going to stop calling me a river rock?"  
"No."  
"Dammit, Palmer, I've had enough of this shit!"  
Cecil squeezed her hand very briefly across the table.  
"No, you are a rock. Just not the sort I first thought."


End file.
